Nadine Coyle's Video For Shit Single "Insatiable" Is Basically A How-To For Cheap Strippers

Folks, no one should be surprised by this trash. After all, Nadine Coyle perfected the art of masking mediocre treacle with tit-parade videos while doing time in stripper troupe Girls Aloud.

So now along comes the full video for "Insatiable," the just-passable warbler's debut solo single. We saw a glimpse of the clip on Friday, and when I pointed out the shortcomings of Nadine's latest assault on the ears of the masses, I was attacked by a pack of Girls Aloud stans who came skittering out of the woodwork like Prada Steve Madden-wearing cockroaches.

Well, here you go, kids. But just remember—a spray tan, designer clothes and an utter shit track don't make you a star. Well, unless you're in an upside-down split on a pole at Jumbo's Clown Room.